Worn

Through Middle School and High School, you would go to school and try to stay hidden. You would try to avoid the people you knew would make your life much worse. You wouldn't want to go to school because you didn't want to see those people who told you to go kill yourself or you'd never be anything in life. But somehow, you made it through. College, however, was supposed be different. A way to start over and be who you really want to be. 

For me, that was the case, at least for a little bit. I went through Freshman Orientation like any other new student at Geneva College, and I was proud to be part of the Class of 2017. Being me, I bonded with a lot of people instantly, including many guys, which shouldn't be a problem, right? But apparently I was given a label. A label that did not define who I was at all. 

The semester went on and we went on winter break. We got back, and things seemed the same. Classes, working out, eating, napping, etc. Towards the end of that semester, though, I was checking my notifications and saw that someone had tweeted a very inappropriate message at me that asked me how much I charged per hour. I had no idea where that had come from, so I blocked him and tried to put it out of my mind. Less than an hour after that, a friend of mine warned my best friend about something that was happening on the app Yik Yak, which is a place online where people around you can post anything anonymously. Apparently, people had referred to me as "LD" while posting extremely vulgar and inappropriate things about me. 

After I was notified about this situation, it was reported to the my RA and RD in my building. This was at the end of the semester, so I could see a little light through the darkness of this unexplainable feeling. But, it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. People were staring at me. They were judging me just from what they had heard on some stupid app. I was afraid to walk out of my dorm. I was afraid to go to meals by myself. A friend even told me to stop talking to him because his friends would make fun of him for talking to me. I was afraid of so much, but, through that time, God shown through the darkness and lead me to the end of the semester, and it seemed to all go away... or so I thought.

Coming back after the summer, I was very excited to see my friends and start classes again. I arrived to campus a few weeks early because of band and mentoring freshman, so I knew a lot of people, and I met a lot of new people, too. The semester seemed to go pretty smoothly, with only a few bumps in the road. I was mentioned briefly on Yik Yak, but it never became very overwhelming, and was just pushed aside. Coming back from winter break, I was also excited to start classes again, especially since my roommate and I had moved back onto campus from the previous semester. 

The semester seemed to be going quite smoothly until things started to pick up again, but this time I wasn't alone in the fight. My friend, who was referred to as "Glitter Girl" was also being picked on and harassed online. Neither of us knew what to do, but just watch as people destroyed our pride and broke our hearts. How can people be so cruel? I don't understand... I shouldn't be scared to walk around campus. I shouldn't have to worry if I would lose another friend.

I'm tired of people saying things about me that are completely untrue. I'm tired and worn down because of how much I worry. But, through all of these trials and tribulations, I have not lost sight of the one thing that really does matter: God's love. He loves me so much that He sent me His only son to die for me so that I wouldn't have to. My sins are forgiven! How amazing is that?! I don't have to die for the mistakes that I make. I think people like to glorify others' mistakes to make theirs seem smaller, but sins are sins, no matter the size. I am a child of God, and I don't deserve to be treated like this. Those who post nasty things about me aren't worth my time or worries because I have Christ. I have an amazing God who created me. He created me.

Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
I don't have to worry about anything. I belong to God, and there's nothing that anyone can say about me that will change that. 

Cyber-bullying is WRONG. It hurts a lot more than people think it does, and there are millions of victims from this form of harassment. It can lead to depression, self-harm, or even suicide. Don't speak harshly about others, because you wouldn't want them to speak harshly about you. If you are being harassed by anyone, don't be afraid to confide in the Lord, then you won't be alone.